Daddy,They Say I'm A Thief!

'Corruption is worse than prostitution;The latter may endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country' - Karl Kraus


Corruption has not only endangered the morals of Nigeria, it has gone a step further and has totally ravaged any moral fabric left of Nigeria.


You are probably wondering who the three men on the right are. Fret not. These are the next generation of bandits. At least, that much the EFCC wants Nigerians to believe. From left to right, meet Mahmud Tukur, Mamman Nasir Ali and Abdulahi Alao. These are the leaders of  tomorrow.


There's a popular native saying that a lion never births a dog. The offspring of a lion must resemble a lion, except of course for some strange genetic mutation.


Mahmud Tukur runs Eterna Oil. He is the son of the current PDP Chairman, Bamanga Tukur and Daddy has graciously said Mahmud should dance to the tune on his own. He insists he will not be dragged into the investigations or prosecution. 


Mamman Ali's Nasman Oil is also in the docks. Daddy is the erstwhile PDP Chairman and the former PPPRA boss. Those who followed the subsidy probe report will know PPPRA was central to the process of defrauding millions of Nigerians. His son was silently 'chopping' in the background.


Chief Arisekola Alao is a business mogul. Many Oyo indigenes have now come to terms with the fact that Arisekola is an established kingmaker in the ancient city. His own son, Abdulahi, runs Axenergy. Another company said to have benefited from the subsidy scam. Arisekola too has said his son is an adult and should answer his queries.


Nigeria should be like a blockbuster thriller movie. We outdo ourselves everyday. Something fresh always. The three Daddys here are close allies of our number one citizen. They have also told us, the PDP will not interfere with the investigations. If you believe that, then I am Prince Albert of Monaco's first cousin. 


These boys will go scot-free. Some will run for Senate, others for Governorship seats on PDP tickets and guess what? They will win. Ask Governor Dankwambo of Gombe and Iyabo Obasanjo. Mohammed Abacha and Mohammed Babangida are nursing their ambitions. Their Daddys have served Nigeria diligently and royalty runs in their blood. 


Bamanga Tukur and co. know the kind of kids they have. You don't tell a Lion, you saw his cub chasing a doe for a snack and expect the Lion to be surprised. If the cub was found eating water-lilies, then yes, there's cause to worry. These young men have simply followed Daddy's footsteps.


Imagine Bamanga, Ali or Alao chilling on their 100-ft long yacht having white wines from Spain and exotic Oriental dancers and the call comes through.


Son: 'Hello, Daddy, its Mamman (Abdulahi/Mahmud), EFCC operatives just came into my penthouse suite at Transcorp o....They say I'm a thief!'


Daddy pauses and asks 'So? Is that why you are interrupting my orgy? Do you even have any idea the names I've been called so that you can drive those vintage cars?'


Son: 'But Daddy....they want to take me to their HQ' (a little distressed now).


Father: 'Ehen, I know. That's the normal thing. Lamorde knows you'll be around. Just follow them. Just ping Uncle Ebele. Say thank you for the Cayman Islands condo and just mention the EFCC interrogation. Don't call in the morning o! You know he sleeps very deeply, especially after partying all night'


Son: 'Okay Daddy...Thank you Daddy...Cheers' 


Father: 'Sure Son, anytime....errrmmm.....one last thing....' 


Son: 'Yeah Dad, what's that?'


Father: 'I'm proud of you Son!'


Son: 'Awwww...Dad, you are so cool! Love you muchos'


I like the fact that the Dads have publicly dissociated themselves from their sons. They've asked us to punish them if they are found wanting. There's a Yoruba adage that says 'The Parent that says beat my child for me, does not mean it literally'. I doubt any of these kids would be beaten anyway.


Again, it is interesting that the Government is even attempting to prosecute their scions. It almost tricked me into believing we were ready to step on toes in the fight against corruption. Time will tell.

Meanwhile, sit back and enjoy the epic movie called Nigeria. Its a never ending series. Even Tinsel isn't this long and filled with intrigues.