'Nigeria O Ni Baje O'

Lagos is a difficult place to govern. It has always been and unfortunately, will always be. For the foreseeable future at least. The kaleidoscopic nature of her inhabitants hasn't made it any easier. The heterogeneity of stakeholders and interest groups places extra burden on those at the seat of power in Alausa to bring their A-game, all day, every day. Some days when I drive around Lagos, I totally don't envy the man saddled with the responsibility of governing Lagos. It's akin to a shepherd guiding a flock of mutant sheep - even sheep cross-bred with orangutans and wolves. Such is the complexity of this arduous task.

My close acquaintances will probably be very surprised I'm doing this post. Some will even swear I have become a partisan politician and that my price has finally been matched. They will think so because I have in the past vehemently and overtly expressed my disaffection for the subject in question. Mr. Babatunde Raji Fashola. 

Some Nigerians in diaspora that I have recently interacted with share the sentiments that BRF is the best thing since sliced bread with many locally-residing Lagosians. They believe he has done well enough to stake a claim to the highest office in the land. They have compared him with the incumbent President, whose term as Governor of his home state was essentially dusky with little to write about. They have also compared him with Atiku Abubakar, an entrepreneur turned customs officer. Or is it the other way round. The chronology has actually become quite confusing. From building his first house at fifteen to serving in Customs and then as the Vice President to building his own university in Yola. At some point in this sterling career, he managed the Petroleum Trust Fund 'judiciously'. They have also compared him with the ever-ambitious septuagenarian, Muhammadu Buhari, who though many believe has a lot to offer Nigeria does not have age on his side any longer. 

One thing is however quite clear. Nigeria cannot be ruled with

kid gloves. The Nigeria Professor Chinua Achebe aptly described as a 'gifted, enormously talented, prodigiously endowed but incredibly wayward child' can only be led by a very firm and assertive person. It is also important that Nigeria's President sells and instills hope in the generality of her citizenry. Barack Obama won in America because he was selling the singular product Americans yearned-for after a dastardly double term in the hands of the Republicans and George Bush. Hope. Mr. Obama is by no means perfect. There is, however, something about his mien and delivery that instantly invokes confidence. The man may not even know what he's doing but he's intelligent enough to make you buy into it. If Nigeria's current President has ever made you feel that way, then I owe you a drink because I'm dying to hear where, when and how.

Many times on this forum, I have berated Mr. Fashola. Like many doctors in his employ, I do not like him. Lagos State doctors like okada men and PDP members manage to see only the negatives in his tenure. All for personal reasons. Before you say I'm campaigning for him because he's a Yoruba man, be reminded that he sacked my colleagues and I in 2012 and STILL owes me a month's wage before the sack. He non-selectively sacked doctors across ethnic and religious boards. I also believe a lot of the healthcare strides he lays claims to are mere propaganda. I'll explain this in future posts. Mr. Fashola's seeming calculated decimation of the medical professionals in Lagos is however not entirely his fault. Even though the buck stops at his desk, I like to believe the medical professionals in his immediate nucleus as advisers are responsible for how BRF has interacted with Lagos doctors. The Jide Idris', Yewande Adesinas, Femi Olugbiles, Wunmi Salakos and Rafiat Olatunjis of this world are responsible in my opinion. The governor will only act based on recommendations and will at best, have the worst case scenarios broken down to him by these people. These are the learned ones who will urge him on. They inanely reassure him he can do it and get away with it. When doctors don't respect their ilk we should not expect charity from other fronts. Charity, as a commodity, they say begins at home.

Mr. Fashola has also come across as being elitist in some spheres of Lagos. For this I do not entirely blame him also. You see, there are still 'powers that be' in Lagos. The Jagaban of Borgu and Bourdillon remains a gluttonous deity Mr. Fashola must constantly appease. I imagine the level of infrastructural development that Lagos may have attained in the absence of this drain pipe of a political stalwart. BRF seemed helpless most times even in the face of draconian policies like the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge and Lekki-Epe expressway tolling debacle. He just couldn't take on these forces. Or maybe he just didn't want to? I believe strongly that he didn't want to risk his second term so he kept on dancing to the piper's tune. Oh, how I wish he tried to defy Asiwaju and ran solely on the basis of his performance during his first stint in Alausa. Risky I agree but he was not going to remain in office forever anyway. And if he indeed didn't get a second term because he stood up to political godfatherism and bullying, history would not have forgotten him. Asiwaju would have been relegated to some remote town playing ludo with Tony Anenih now. Still rich but politically impotent at state level. But who benefits? The masses! So, most of the voracious income-driven policies may not have completely been in BRF's control. While Asiwaju boasts that he bequeathed Fashola on Lagosians, this is perceived as a Greek gift in some circles as he wantonly exsanguinates Lagos' coffers.

Another grouse with Mr. Fashola is his seeming neglect for the suburbs of Lagos. A few people think he has concentrated developmental projects on his primary constituency in Surulere. Surulere roads are relatively 'sexy', even though Aguda residents feel left out. Ayobo, Akute, Ijegun, Igbogbo and all such remote satellite areas are extremely displeased with Mr. Fashola. They feel they should have benefited more from this government as good access roads would have heralded economic development to such areas. It however didn't happen in BRF's eight years in office. Another palpable problem in Lagos is the havoc the heavy rains inflict on the state's drainage system. While the primary problem seems to be blockage from improper waste disposal, a school of thought believes this itself is a reaction to the inefficient waste collection system. In my opinion however, I think there has been marginal improvement even though the government still has a lot to do in terms of waste collection and disposal. The population boom in Lagos won't abate anytime soon so the onus is on government to invest or encourage private investment in sustainable methods of waste management. There are biofuel opportunities staring at us in the face. We'll safely manage waste, create employment, produce clean energy and conserve our environment. One stone, four or five birds.

My personal grievances aside, I believe Mr. Fashola has sincerely good intentions to bring development to his people. He seems 'connected' to the everyday Lagosian and genuinely attempts to make their lives better. Does he step on a number of toes, certainly. That is expected. I've listened to him speak and he has a thorough understanding of his statistics. You can tell he's not just reading baseless data from charlatans. If he tells you there is an MCC in Ketu-Ejirin, he deftly describes what the facility will do or has and not just some watery rambling about some fictitious equipment. The man knows his onions. I must admit that, even if he has gored my ox in the past. With all due respect, the incumbent President is a far cry from this and this assertion, in which I have no iota of doubt, is a scientific one which is easily measurable if our President will accept a debate anywhere and anytime with our Governor. Even if we succeed in convincing Eja Nla a.k.a White Lion a.k.a Mensah a.k.a Skibanj a.k.a...(whatever else he calls himself nowadays) to moderate such a debate. Even though he has been accused of being a cosmetic governor from his seeming obsession with planting flowers in Lagos, the truth is many more people are paying their taxes on their own volition. Hitherto, it was hard to pinpoint what such revenue was being used for by government. One of the biggest problems of the Nigerian citizenry is their attitude to tax. Who can blame them really, when it seemed their taxes were used to build luxury flats in Ikoyi?

Interestingly, Mr. Fashola has remained coy about his name being in the mix as a contestant for the office of President. I haven't read anywhere that he has overtly turned down such an idea but he continues to systematically make a very strong case for his candidacy as his current term winds down. Lately, he has been delivering awe-inspiring speeches that make you wonder if Nigeria could really afford to let such a technocrat go to waste. I may have my personal differences with some of his policies but overall, would I appoint him to manage my company if I had to pick someone, certainly! It cannot be personal. Has to always be business and there isn't any bigger business than governance. It cannot be personal when there are a hundred and seventy million lives involved. At that point, my personal agitations become minute in the face of greater good. He is also not a Christian; a card some bigots would inadvertently play. Truth be told, he could be Buddhist for all I care. He is a good first step to recovery. It is time we tried something different at the top. President Obama hasn't solved all of America's problems but America has slowly recovered from an economic meltdown and every month, the unemployment index drops. Has racism stopped because he became President, No. BRF may not tick all the boxes but like my brother says, you don't pass an examination by getting every answer correct. You do so by having more right answers than wrong ones.

So, if Mr. Fashola ever decided to run for office in Aso Rock, I'll vote for him in spite of myself. I hope we all do as the 2015 elections roll in. Hope, however small, remains hope. And there should be hope for Nigeria regardless of how bleak it looks. Governance is too serious a business to openly court militants and even fly them on private jets to purchase ammunition for our country. 

I no call anybody name o! 





Photocredits: www.dehai.org, www.osundefender.org, www.gistmonger.com, www.blacknaija.com

Nigeria: Ebola & Plagiarists.

There is a popular Yoruba adage that says 'when you beat a child with the right hand, you should draw that same child close with the left'. It's been a while since Nigeria was mentioned in positive light in local or foreign media. Even though the thoroughly absurd headlines we are renowned for remain unabated, we must at least ride the positive Halley's Comet news when they grace us with their presence. A few months ago, Nigeria was confronted by the deadly Ebola virus in Lagos and against all odds, Nigeria contained it. This containment was however not without human sacrifice and I personally believe we have continued to downplay the role the late Dr. Ameyo Stella Adedavoh played. I will not stop thinking so till I see national monuments and indeed medical schools named after her. That however, is an issue for another forum. Interestingly, the experimental drug we begged the United States of America for didn't play any role in the successful containment. It didn't because they refused to give us. We should thank them in retrospect for not giving us. If they had, we won't have painstakingly used our brains to think. We would have swallowed it like every other 'elixir' the West has handed us in the past. If they had, we would have attributed the successful containment to it and be inadvertently indebted to them once again.

Last week, the United States recorded its first case of Ebola in Dallas Texas. Before that time, Ebola was a 'West African' problem even as it had consumed more than three thousand lives. Many Nigerians could not contain their surprise when news broke that the almighty USA was sending its medical experts to understudy how Nigeria contained the virus. It was good to hear such news. Nigeria was not in the news for internet fraud, corruption, terrorism or any of the myriad vile headlines that have now inflicted us intractably. The same country that begged for Zmapp and did not get any. We should seize this opportunity to restore some of our pride. When those Americans arrive, they should be quarantined at our airports, after all, they are coming from an Ebola-infected country. We must take no prisoners and ensure they are brought down from their high horses. All these years, we have gone cap in hand begging them for all sorts of solutions and they have graciously humiliated our kin and labelled us. This is not revenge. They will get to understudy our Ebola containment methods but they won't waltz in like it's business as usual. Imagine if the tables were turned, they probably would have proposed an oil for medical research deal.

Nigeria should however not rest on her oars. The effective manner with which we tackled Ebola should spur us to greater feats. We can do it. We just need to set our minds to it. The West doesn't have all the answers we seek. We run to them shamelessly for aid forgetting that the Arabs like UAE never do. These countries have a fraction of the natural resources Nigeria owns, yet we refuse to look within. Nobody gave us a chance against Ebola. Countries had started banning Nigerian flights because they assumed we would handle the outbreak in our usual shoddy and shabby Nigerian way. Imagine if we decided to pay such meticulous attention to our education, judiciary and healthcare for starters. 

The European Union is antsy about the Spanish nurse with Ebola in Madrid. The Americans also have theirs to worry about. It was just a matter of time really. Maybe the whole world will sit up now and try to find a lasting solution to the problem. With the cosmopolitan nature of the world today, there's no such thing as an 'African' problem.

The Fault In Our Stars

I recently taught my wife how to download torrents for movies on the internet and she learned very fast. Before I knew it, she was recommending movies she thought I would enjoy. So, she glowingly mentioned 'The Fault in Our Stars' some days ago and so I obliged and finally garnered enough patience to sit through the drama. Alas, her sterling recommendation was devoid of any element of hyperbole. The drama is indeed all that and a bag of chips thus the reason why I would recommend it for any insightful and deep-thinking person who seeks beyond the inane obscenities that have now pervaded the film industry.

The story essentially centered around two young terminally-ill

young people who despite their seemingly insurmountable health challenges fell in love. It wasn't the attendant physiological and biochemical disturbances their passionate love heralded that intrigued me; No. Far from it! We see that on E! everyday. It was the manner with which they cared for themselves even with the knowledge that death was a few yards away. At some point, the boy became really sick and asked his two closest friends to read him their eulogies. He said he wanted to attend his own funeral before he died. Usually, that would have been the 'wow' moment for me were this film one of the regulars. But no, so brilliant was this drama that this was just one of many such awe-inspiring moments. It made me reflect on something that crosses my mind every now and then. If you had to sit through your own funeral listening to elegies from 'friends and family', would you smile knowing they were speaking the truth about the beautiful life you lived or would you smirk knowing they were just being polite because courtesy demanded that they reserved what they really felt about the way you lived and so reeled out some bullshit about how wonderful a person you were. Trust me, you'll always know which it is. You just may never admit it.

Humans are naturally averse to the topic of death. It is something, even though we know is certain, we prefer to talk about in hushed tones. This I find rather unfortunate. Unfortunate, chiefly because I believe our world would probably be a better place if we came to terms with our mortality and the vanity of our existence. Every minute, God uses death to remind us that we are here transiently. That, one day, our hearts will stop like Segun Adebo's did in March. Like Folasade Odeneye's did two years and Adeolu Okulate's last year. Like someone's own somewhere will even before I finish this post. That is what we signed up for. Because 'there is an appointed time to be born and a set time to die' as Ecclesiastes admonishes us. To this end, I think people - Nigerians especially- should spend more time at funerals. As grim as that sounds, such occasions afford us the opportunity to reflect and revise the essence of our beings. Of course, I am assuming, you are not only going there to wrestle others for small-chops and souvenirs. One of my favorite lines from the movie was from Hazel at her lover's funeral. She said and I quote 'Funerals are not for the dead but for the living'. Damn! That's one 'heavy' assertion. Heavy to the tune of thousands of tonnes actually. Why? We often tag funerals in Nigeria as 'Celebration of Life', 'Glorious Exit', etc. We focus largely on the deceased so we kill cows and buy diamond-crusted caskets instead of teaching and reminding the living about the vanity of this rat race and the importance of doing good always.

You may think back now and fear your eulogy will essentially be 'wash'. Most of the watery and vague verses will try to portray you in good light to the strangers who never really knew you. But, you knew yourself so those verses won't fool you. You would smirk at the charade if you were seated in the front row instead of lying still from rigor mortis in the open casket at the front of the church. Alas, there's a chance to swap the smirk for a wholehearted smile on that inevitable day. Start to think of yourself less but of other people and how little acts of kindness can change our world. Give, not because you expect a reward but because God created the rich and the poor. Give, because according to James Keller, a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle and happiness never decreases by being shared. 

          "Here lies Oluwole...

           Husband of one...

           Father of three... 

           Son of God...

           Brother to a few... 

           Friend of many...

           Doctor to multitudes...

           Fisher of men"

My epitaph should read something like that. I haven't quite completed my eulogy though as I have come to find that every day we live on Earth we pen a line of that composition. So, we are not likely to complete it till the day we breathe our last. I encourage everyone to at least start writing one today, at least to this point of your life. Appreciate the privilege you have to improve what will be written and said about you. You are alive. It means God isn't done with you yet. Make it count!

Ultimately, I hope to live well enough that death won't scare me. That assures me I'll be smiling when it's just pitch darkness and seemingly eerie silence. 

Below are the lyrics of one of the most profound hymns I ever heard. Every line should be digested and regurgitated daily. These words of Charlotte Elliot (1789 - 1891) do I leave you with.

1. My God, my Father, while I stray
Far from my home on life's rough way
Oh, teach me from my heart to say,
"Thy will be done."

2. Though dark my path and sad my lot,
Let me be still and murmur not
Or breathe the prayer divinely taught,
"Thy will be done."

3. What though in lonely grief I sigh
For friends beloved, no longer nigh,
Submissive still would I reply--
"Thy will be done."

4. Though Thou hast called me to resign
What most I prized, it ne'er was mine;
I have but yielded what was Thine--
"Thy will be done."

5. Should grief or sickness waste away
My life in premature decay,
My Father, still I strive to say,
"Thy will be done."

6. Let but my fainting heart be blest
With Thy sweet Spirit for its Guest;
My God, to Thee I leave the rest--
"Thy will be done."

7. Renew my will from day to day;
Blend it with Thine and take away
All that now makes it hard to say,
"Thy will be done."

8. Then, when on earth I breathe no more,
The prayer, oft mixed with tears before,
I'll sing upon a happier shore,
"Thy will be done."

Note To Self

A lot of people do not know I got married recently. Those who eventually found out but were not invited have their theories as to why MY wedding was 'secret'. Others that came wanted to see with their ones eyes if it was true that like Achilles,another trojan warrior was about to bite the dust. Whatever the motive for being present or otherwise, I pray good things will abound in your homes also.

So, I have been getting 'quality' marriage advice from the four corners of the Earth. Interestingly, while I got advice from a man who had been married four times or so, I also got from a man who had been married to the same woman for close to four decades. It stirred some wonderment in me. Shouldn't the man with multiple marriages have better advice being that he has been in the fire many more times. Experience, after all, they say is the best teacher. From his point of view, the man who's been married for four decades doesn't know 'anything' about marriage. On the other hand, if he knows so much about marriage, why does he keep failing at it? Coincidence or just a bad streak? I don't have answers but I'll just leave that here for you to ponder on. 

I have keenly observed marriages and listened to married folks to get a feel of what the do's and don'ts are. Of course, I appreciate that no two marriages are the same and there are really no hard and fast rules when it comes to the revered institution. I have however noted a few things and while they are largely self notes, it may not be bad to hang them out here for any other person who might be seeking answers.

First, to the two people in the marriage. You are each other's all-in-all. You swore to become one before God and that is literally what it must be. Not one today and three and half tomorrow. Not one figuratively. One is one. What it means is that you must back each other no matter what. When it's your spouse against the world, you just must stand with them. They won't always make intelligent decisions and they will slip every now and then. Your duty is to support them regardless of how silly their decisions may seem. As a matter of policy, do not openly criticize your spouse or berate them in public. I believe that is entirely bedroom talk. Agree with them in public no matter how imbecilic you both look then treat it in private. You must not jump ship in public. It's hard to assess the depth of the betrayal it causes. No matter who is involved. Always remember that's the hand you want to hold when you breathe your last. When the whole world is against her or him,ensure you can be relied on to have their back. Just don't jump ship I urge you.

Second, to the man. Your duty is to communicate with your wife. You must talk to her so she does not assume. It is only by talking to her that she understands you better and can help you as God empowered her to in the book of Genesis. If it means reading the alphabets from A to Z every other day for lack of things to say, please do. Just make sure you are talking to your wife. Even when she upsets you and your feel your testicles are about to explode, a simple 'how are you?' will help. Don't keep grudges. That's an estrogen-esque trait that should be alien to men. Women can, certainly not men. Shock her by still asking how the day's going even when you had a big fight that morning. Don't get drawn into silent treatment techniques. They do more harm than good. It's actually personal to me and I'm working hard at correcting it. I'm also asking God for the grace to be a talking spouse. I believe it's essential for a good marriage.

Third, to the wife. Your husband is the singular most important entity in your aesthetic life. When you dress up or make up, don't do it so that 'people' will say you look good. Their opinion about how you look doesn't count! Well, except you are interviewing for a modelling job. Many women have missed this point. They would rather look beautiful for a world that really doesn't give a damn about them than for the man they would spend the rest of their lives with. So what you get are women who look like village witches while they are at home with their husbands because 'after all, nobody is looking at them and they are not going anywhere'. They would rather post pictures on Instagram and Facebook so they can get one million likes that don't really count at the expense of the one most precious 'like' that means the whole world. You use body magic to deceive the world that you are a hot married woman then you come home and take off the contraptions and expect your husband to pack you around the house with a shovel! It's very unfair. What is good enough for the goose is also good for the gander. As a matter of fact, it isn't even a goose-gander scenario, that's trivializing the subject. What is befitting for the villagers must not be offered to the king of the village. That is how you should see your husband. If it means going to bed in your body magic, then so be it. Who told you the man doesn't want to see a hot woman also? You either find a permanent fix for the truncal obesity or you get comfortable with it and stop deceiving the world and expecting him to 'understand'.

Marriage isn't easy. It's hard, just like the road that leads to Heaven. Only a few find it because 'narrow is the way'. But, it is an institution ordained by God and thus must be a good thing. Learn to reaffirm your commitment to making it work. Unfortunately, these days the whole world expects you to fail at it because 'it's not easy o'. So you'll be fighting against all odds but for the love of Christ, never give up on your spouse. And beware of the advice you dwell on. Those that say 'don't take this from your husband or your wife' have probably taken worse. Make your own rules. You will soon come to find out after the glitz and glamour and enriched wedding vendors, that it's you and your 'cross'. 

Endeavor to make the yoke easy and the burden light as Jesus asserted in the New Testament.

The Hunter & The Bush-meat

I shouldn't be blogging...

If Mrs. Okulate asks, tell her my alter ego, Theophilus, wrote this.

Having said that, how can you come from where I come from and resist blogging after you hear some of the weirdest things known to mankind.

Again, I remember my standing rule about opining about Nigeria's intractable slumber. I just could not help myself...

Today, Mr. President 'temporarily suspended' residency training in the country. Even though I've seen the supposed memo to that effect on social media, I'm still hoping it's one of those pranks we get now and then.

The NMA, not just the residents, has been on strike since July 1st. In that time, a 'crazy man' according to my President brought Ebola virus into the country. How that has been going I'm sure we all know. Sometimes, the solution to a headache is decapitation, as I have now learnt. 

In the memo, the residents will be replaced by locum doctors whose contracts will be renewed six-monthly, if they 'behave' well. By behaving well, I assume they will swear by whichever deity they worship that they will not go on strike. For the reprobate ones a.k.a Judases that will sign such bonds and still entertain the thought of strikes, the six-month clause is there to promptly ship them out. Amazing stuff!

Alas, this action is not without precedence. Mr. Fashola did it in 2012 and got away with it as far as I'm concerned. Even though he recalled the doctors he sacked, he had since allegedly placed an embargo on recruitment of resident doctors into LASUTH Ikeja. He was however gracious enough to allow those already in the system to at least continue their program; the system though faulty, is holding and hasn't crumbled yet. Lagos State Government showed the world that it could be done and I presume Abuja was taking notes. They took notice of how many doctors chanted war songs at meetings and then ran back covertly cap-in-hand to beg the same government they recited 'Aluta Continua' against. They took note of how senior medical doctors openly sabotaged the seemingly misguided young ones. They took note of how ARD, AGPMPN, NMA, Medical Guild and MDCN all agreed to disagree and disagreed to disagree. They were watching us.

The federal government owns the teaching hospitals after all, whether we like it or not. They may not have the capacity to keep the facilities running but that's based on an assumption that they really care what happens in those facilities anyway and whether the visitors to them lived or died. Residency training is also just a contract after all and even though the proscription is probably imbecilic, it is a valid and even understandable tactic. I'll explain why.

The crux of the NMA is National Association of Resident Doctors (NARD) and they are scattered across all the national and state teaching hospitals in the country. They are the engine rooms of all the teaching hospitals so once they down tools, Nigeria's tertiary healthcare system grinds to a halt. How best to sterilize a national NMA strike that to yank out the very heart of it. If the proscription stands, the doctors will be sheep without shepherd. Wolves hunt better when the sheep scuttle all over the place. Abuja knows hunger is no respecter of degree or white coat. It worked in Lagos after all. Sack them all and leave a small window for the penitent ones to saunter back for meal tickets; thus the clause of locum physicians with renewable contracts every six months. They'll promise the locums they will be considered first for residency positions when they decide to lift the proscription. So, the locum positions will be filled promptly across the land by 'hungry' doctors even with the faintest hope of a residency position at some point in the future.

Will this work? Why not! The NMA will threaten fire and

brimstone again and government will insist they own their teaching hospitals and they can do as they like with them. They will argue that state governments also own teaching hospitals anyway so aggrieved doctors can seek refuge there. They know most of the consultants are sell-outs anyway. Those ones always whip up some inane ideology about why specialists cannot join strikes because they are 'management level staff'. So, you have consultants, locum medical officers and interns with a battalion of DSS and MOPOL 18 outside the hospital gates. Then, the residents will go to the National Industrial Court and while this is ongoing, the famished ones will quickly take up the locum positions 'for now'. At all, at all na hin bad. You know what they say about half a loaf of bread and puff-puff. That is our reality in Nigeria. All man for himself even if we chant 'Victoria acerta!' together. Again, remember not to make the simple-minded assumption that this government cares that the system will crumble and people will die. They know all that already.

For those who still think JOHESU wants to decimate the medical profession, I'm sure you know Dr. Jonathan didn't have this moment of epiphany during the night while he laid next to- or on-top of- his adorable wife yesterday. Doctors, like you and I, drew up that white paper and he simply assented. Is the Federal Minister of Health a laboratory technician? Is the Minster of State for Health a mortician? Do they not hold M.B.B.S. degrees also? Our problems are entirely in-vivo, they have always been and they will always be.

Again, this is all still amorphous. I'm yet to get a confirmation of this rash action on electronic media. It's all just online so there's still a chance it is all fiction. I personally hope so anyway. But I remember reading a week ago that Professor Onyebuchi Chukwu had threatened that government could 'also do something drastic' to address the nationwide strike. This will certainly make Goodluck Ebele Azikwe Jonathan indelible in the annals of history. He may not be the smartest of the lot but his testicular hypertrophy is certainly unprecedented!

When the jungle 'matures', telling the hunter apart from the bush-meat may become very difficult. Who is hunting who now I wonder?

P.S...

The Ebola virus is quietly sitting pretty in the country from all indications. You begin to wonder if you are suffering from sensorineural deafness when you hear things like a primary contact of the index Ebola case escaped quarantine and traveled from Lagos to Enugu! How and where on Earth does that happen? This same ineptitude made it possible for the now late Mr. Sawyer to pass through our Immigration Services at Murtala Muhammed International Airport. We had to outdo even our worst performance by now inoculating the South-East with the virus. Now, I'm told Kwara has also reported a 'suspected' case. 

I just don't get it.

When You Find Love In A 'Hopeless' Place

It's quite hard to believe Aaliyah released this hit song 'Age ain't nothing but a number' exactly twenty years ago! Two decades already. Men! I suddenly feel like an old man. Anyway, that's a matter for another forum. It has taken some of us two decades to really understand Aaliyah's insight. Better late than never?

I've heard somewhere that the Bible has a verse for everything we will probably ever see and experience as humans. Little wonder, it says in 1st Corinthians that 'when I was a child, I spoke like a child, I UNDERSTOOD like a child and I THOUGHT like a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things'. And there, good people of God, is my caveat. I must confess that I used to have a largely contrary view on this subject a few years ago; just in case you and I have engaged before about the topic, please permit me to change my mind. Only a fool never changes his mind after all. Time and chance have educated me and I have put away those childish dogmas. 

I had a conversation with a very close friend of mind a few days ago. She's one of the beautiful people life has been kind enough to allow me meet. The largeness of her heart probably beats her intelligence, ambition, work ethics and physique as her greatest asset. Interestingly, she's been single for a while now so much so that I wondered at some point if all the I'm-looking-for-a-wife guys in Lagos were suffering from vitamin A deficiency. She recently met a young man who seems enchanted by her and is showing 'signs' of you know what. There's however a small glitch. She's close to 30 and he's 27...

Age! Naturally her expectations of any relationship now involves a 

round glittering metal and sparkling white lace at some point in the not too distant future so she's not particularly looking for any 'wassup wassup' guy. With Lagos being the puddle it is, I had come across the fellow in question remotely somewhere within my social circles. He came across as a level-headed gentleman with this effortless aura of calmness. I was excited for my friend. Then she voiced her reservation for him and it got me thinking. If she had picked any other disqualifying quality apart from his age, I probably would have let it slide. She was not even going to give the young man a chance for something that was totally beyond his control. I didn't think that was fair.

Traditionally, we are averse to relationships with older females in these parts. While it's okay for the girls to date and even marry men older than their biological fathers, it is abominable for the boys to do likewise. That is our culture. Since the man is supposed to be the 'head' of the home, it only makes sense that he should be older and preferably die first isn't it? I got my first father-son relationship advice in my third or fourth year of medical school when he warned me against dating girls who I wasn't older than. He explained that since women somehow aged faster than men, it was likely the woman would be looking like a 50-year old when she was 40 and as a result appear less attractive to her husband who would still be 'in town' then. Seems logical doesn't it?

The Bible clearly lays down the guidelines for marriage in my opinion. 'And a man shall leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife and they will become one flesh'. Did it read a 30-year old man will cleave to a 25-year old lady? 'Be ye not unequally yoked to an unbeliever'. Did it read a 27-year old man must be equally yoked to a 23-year old lady?. 'Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the Earth'. Again, any mention of age?. 'For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the Church'. Maybe the ages are not specified because really as Aaliyah posited 'age is really just a number'.The naysayers are quick to point out that Adam, the first husband was created before Eve making him technically 'older' than his wife. Agreed. What, however, did his age have to do with the apple he ate in Eden? Absolutely nothing!

You see, I think women must disabuse their minds of some archaic ideas. Yes our culture frowns at dating/marrying younger men but how has this same culture addressed the rising divorce rates in marriages today? Marriages are failing right, left and center certainly not because the husbands are younger than their wives! They are failing because people are not ready to do the work and irreconcilable differences spring up. Does an older husband automatically translate to a properly-cared for wife or a functional marriage? Capital NO! If you like marry Methuselah, all that assures you of is a steady supply of blue pills and imminent heart attacks every time you buy new lingerie. Age does not and will never translate to maturity. Yoko Ono, John Lennon's widow, aptly submits that 'some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90; time is simply a concept created by human beings'.

Don't be afraid to set your own standards. Society and culture require you to conform; refuse to! Your happiness is PRIMARY. When it goes awry, trust me, you'll find that this same 'culture' does not really send you. I haven't said marry a boy who plays X-box till he forgets to go to work on Monday morning o!. If a younger man treats you with respect and comports himself decently and gentlemanly; if he has a strong character and is stable upstairs; if he opens doors for you and treats you like Kate Middleton in Lagos; if he appreciates the place of God in his being and has a genuinely good heart (note I didn't say 'born-again'); if he encourages you to pursue your dreams and supports your ambitions altruistically. You mean, you'll pick a pot-belied, lousy, egocentric man over the former simply because one is older than the other? Maybe we actually do deserve the things we get in these parts.

Age is very overrated. What you should worry about are his ideals, values and sense of responsibility. Maturity is simply not a function of years but of exposure, experience and cognition. And truth is, beauty won't last forever anyway - whether you like it or not of course. Some day, our skin will wrinkle and shrivel and we will age and wither . Simply because we can't cheat nature and simply because for everything under Heaven, there is a time and season. Therefore, seek someone who loves you not because of your yellow face, 'alert' breasts or flat abdomen but someone who sees beyond aesthetics. To such a person, you'll always be beautiful. Many women are married to other people's husbands today in dysfunctional marriages because they assumed love found with younger men was love in a hopeless place. Alas, stones are not the only hard objects on Earth after all. They have learnt that the hard way.

I begged my dear friend to open her mind and pray to God. Never close your mind to possibilities. Sometimes, the best gifts come in the most unexpected packages. Assess him on every other thing but his age. 

'Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter' - Mark Twain.

Let culture frown dear. It always finds something to frown at anyway. Refuse to be a 'statistic'.

When A Doctor Speaks...

Industrial actions by medical doctors in Nigeria have never and will probably never be greeted by cheers from the general public. By industrial actions I am specifically referring to strikes. The usual trend is that in the first few days, the public may understand or even sympathize with the doctors and focus on the ineptitude of the sitting government for not being able to avert the action. This goodwill however burns out quickly as stories of people who lost loved ones from closed public hospitals filter in. At that point, the doctors are reminded of all the oaths they swore and how they are 'allopathic' by the same public that was hurling abuses at government a few hours earlier. The streets are simply not loyal. 

There are typically no victors or vanquished at the end of the day. Strikes usually occur at a price of human lives. This in my opinion simply reflects the value Nigerians place on human life. By Nigerians, I am referring to the generality of people who hold the green passport and NOT medical doctors singly. It cuts across board really and the doctors are just cut from that same fabric so why are we surprised?

I stumbled on an acerbic anti-Nigerian doctors post on Facebook recently and the interesting feature was the way the writer opened his essay with the names he will be called by doctors for expressing his opinion. He said he knew he would be called things like 'bastard' and 'idiot' so he started by first ascribing all the derogatory words to himself before going on. This made me very ashamed. To his credit, he was spot on as the comments at the end of the post were exactly as he anticipated. His prescience was quite remarkable and the doctors fell right into the trap. They took him to the cleaners for writing such and replied him with a truckload of obscenities. I was going to leave a mild admonishing comment on the post for my 'esteemed colleagues' but I didn't think it was the right forum to engage them. Unfortunately, most of the culpable ones on the day will probably never visit this blog.

I don't think doctors help their cause much with such caustic engagements with 'laymen' on social media. The man out of his ignorance of the circumstances surrounding the strike has drawn first blood by insulting doctors publicly. How does hurling back abuses solve anything? As a matter of fact, I think it's shameful that doctors make such unguarded statements and use such foul language in social circles. You are supposed to be a DOCTOR! That is perhaps the most noble of ALL professions. Getting into the ring with people who don't know better reduces you to their level instantly. Winston Churchill aptly submits that you will never reach your destination if you stop to throw stones at every dog that barks. You simply must not dignify every opinion with a response! It is akin to fighting a mad man in the market square and you expect people around to decipher which of the two fighters is the insane one.

In fact, our elders say 'he who is clad in white clothes does not fight a man carrying palm oil'. The internet never forgets so we must be extremely cautious when we address seeming aggressors. We make the same mistake time and time again. Our profession naturally has an aura of dignity and class and it is bad enough that Nigerians think strikes are solely for higher salaries and thus quickly brand the herd as 'greedy'. Even when other health workers go on strike, ask the average market woman who visits the hospital and she'll tell you 'Won ni awon doctor da ise le' i.e. 'they say the doctors are on strike' even when it is JOHESU. We then compound our problems by reducing ourselves repeatedly to the level of the same people we claim and are supposed to be 'better than'?

Please note that because of the peculiarity of the entity called Nigeria, it is probably impossible to avert strikes in the health sector. I have also NOT said doctors should not go on strike if it is necessary to get government's attention. All I have said is some decorum is not too much to ask of a medical doctor. We must conduct ourselves in a manner befitting and becoming of this calling. Engage constructively. Seek to understand rather than reply. Seek to educate where necessary. Using gutter language and sounding like a bus conductor is simply not good enough.

The basic medical curriculum needs a review in my opinion. We need to incorporate some poise and finishing into doctors training in Nigerian medical schools. I agree that it may be from a faulty foundation at pre-tertiary level. This does not still preclude that fact that it can be learned. It is not enough to have knowledge and be incongruous and brash. There's a common saying that knowledge is knowing WHAT to say while wisdom is knowing WHEN and HOW to say it. Also remember that the good book says in Proverbs that 'Wisdom (not knowledge) is the principal thing'. This review in medical curriculum should also include courses in diction, public speaking and relations and must be as vital a prerequisite as the core medical courses in conferment of degrees. I say this because I've heard some doctors speak and I was amazed. Last week, the NMA in Lagos sent a representative to a Channels TV morning show to update the public on the strike and his performance was abysmal. 

Strikes are here to stay in Nigeria. Not because the doctors are the devil's first cousins or because they are greedy. It is simply because they are Nigerians. And in Nigeria, there is simply no value for human life. From the government that leaves the hospitals and schools derelict to the policeman who will cock his rifle to shoot motorists who refuse to park for stop and search to the bus driver who over-speeds with passengers aboard to make many trips to the importer who uses yam flour to make diabetic drugs to the manufacturer who reduced the number of sardines in Titus from four in 2010 to two in 2014 because of bad economy. We are all the same.

If we must go on strike, we should at least manage the action effectively. That is the very least we can do for our dignity.

P.S...

The 'first' death from Ebola in Lagos was recorded during the week. Don't ask me why I put first in parentheses. Now that we know the virus has reached our shores, please take extra precaution with your personal hygiene. 
Whether you think it's a melodramatic cry of wolf where there's none or you have a standing covenant with Heaven that it's not your portion, it is still your hygiene anyway. So you will only benefit more from making it better, with or without the Ebola scare. So, wash your hands properly and as often as you can. There is a technique for hand-washing as recommended by the WHO, look it up. In the mean time, get hand sanitizers and use them copiously. With the nationwide strike, I'm not quite sure where suspected cases are supposed to report to but there are some contact numbers circulating in the media, do well to get them especially if you're particularly at risk. My worry is that the symptoms are rather non-specific so diagnosis from history taking may be difficult but still get checked out. 

More than before, I will stand in faith with Nigerian churchgoers on this one. It is well. It just has to be because the last thing we need in our virtual healthcare system is such a viral outbreak. I agree that we may not be the best people in the world but fate can certainly be kinder to us with all we are grappling with already.

May God help us.

Between Fanyogo & Arik Rice

So my wife and I were in Onikan-bound traffic on Ahmadu Bello bridge about three weeks ago and she spotted some dude hawking 'ice cream'. The sun wasn't taking any prisoners that particular afternoon so when she offered me Fanyogo I didn't think it was such a bad idea given the circumstances. Oh, how wrong I was...

I insisted a check of the expiry dates on the packs of the dairy products before she paid just to be safe and they appeared to be in order. So, I occupied myself in traffic with frozen Fanyogo forgetting that I had a direct six hour flight the following morning. Having done a lot of interstate travelling during my medical school, I had inculcated the habit of thoroughly emptying my bowels before embarking on any journey. So I was confident that whatever happened, an early morning lavatory expedition would sufficiently fix any threats - given that science asserted that normal gastric emptying time i.e. the time it will take the contents of the stomach to completely empty into the small intestine, was four hours. Again, I was very wrong!

The elders say he who the gods want to kill, they first make mad. That was the only tenable explanation I could posit considering the next flaw in judgement I committed. As if I had not tested fate enough on the ground, I devoured the in-flight 'meal' Arik served me. It was probably because I was particularly hungry as I had intentionally skipped breakfast to forestall any digestive exigencies while in transit. Arik Air, being proudly Nigerian, offered me something with some semblance of cooked rice and chicken and red eyes made me chew like my life depended on it.

The first red flag was when I had to empty my bladder mid-flight. I usually never enter the conveniences aboard but the urge to do 'number one' was too strong to ignore. Folks, male and female, had been coming in and going out of the john so I was deeply disgusted when I entered and the toilet bowl was almost filled to the brim with sullage and toilet paper. I ran back! How had all these people I had been seeing entering and exiting been using this I wondered. I accosted one of the attendants and asked if there was another loo as the central one was apparently non-functional. He didn't seem surprised and pointed another to me at the rear of the plane. I entered and it was exactly the same. I suddenly realized I could actually manage till we landed.

Forty minutes to our estimated time of landing, I felt a strange quickening in my rectum. It couldn't be what I thought now, could it?. At how many thousand feet above sea level and with Arik's wonderment facilities. Surely the devil wasn't that powerful. Or was he?

I recited every nursery rhyme that came to mind just to remain focused on everything but my own gastrointestinal tract. I even used 'twinkle twinkle little star' as the second stanza of 'Solomon Grundy'. I wasn't planning to face Immigration Services with soiled clothes. Finally to my relief, we started our descent into Heathrow and eventually landed. It then took ages before my pilot graciously parked his aircraft. The taxiing was endless it seemed. It was the day that my colon was doing the rumba that we had to wait for ten minutes because the pilot could not cross an 'active runway'. Many are the afflictions of the righteous!

I entered the first lavatory I saw as we approached the arrival gates but apparently many folks on the flight had been holding their urges also, no thanks to Arik. The room was filled with men going about their business and I decided against unleashing what was in me there. It would have been too embarrassing. A queue was already forming to even use the bathrooms anyway so I ran out again. This was London after-all, not Murtala. I could swear there were other conveniences close-by, I just had to find them. They couldn't be as blunted mentally as my people. A few feet away, I saw the yellow sign and this time the room was bigger and empty. Ah! Devil na area-boy but God na Godfather.

At that point, I remembered a picture I had seen on social media that said

'people say love is the best feeling but finding a toilet when you have diarrhea is a better feeling'. I also remembered the chorus of Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball'. Thank God the (un)fortunate toilet bowl that encountered me was inanimate so it couldn't say what it 'saw' that fateful day. Flesh and blood had not revealed to it what was coming that Tuesday.

It would have been interesting though carrying such a 'burden' to processing desk of the British Immigration service. I imagine I would have been sweating profusely by that time with a lot of twitching. I'd also probably have been stammering when answering questions about my purpose of visit to the UK. It would have been a miracle convincing the officer that a bag of 'coco' hadn't burst in my stomach. Na okada for carry me go back Oshodi!

The enemy came like a 'flood'. Literally. Jehovah had the final say and delivered me! 

Someone shout a mighty hallelujah...

Imagine the headline in Punch newspaper the next day. 'Thirty year old APC medical doctor shits on himself en-route London'.

Of Strikes, Wars & Faith.

Eighteen days ago, the Nigerian Medical Association embarked on an indefinite nationwide strike action to protest among other things, an agreement reached by the Federal Government with another group of health workers - JOHESU. The doctors refuse to share the appellation of 'Consultant' with pharmacists, laboratory scientists and morticians. I have shamefully watched each party pervade the print and electronic media with inane propaganda. I am not going to apportion blame as it really doesn't matter anymore. People will die. Whether they are called consultants or specialists, there's only one outcome. The coin pretty much has the same face on either side so it doesn't matter much how the toss goes. I have worked in four government hospitals since I qualified as a medical doctor and all four hospitals were headed by doctors. Did that stop the rot and the blatant daily human sacrificial rituals? The Federal minister of health has always been a medical doctor since Lord Lugard left us. What bearing has this had on the state of our hospitals? Like Nigeria's presidency and religious bigots, it really doesn't matter who leads, so long the job gets done. If the ambulance driver will put the hospitals in order and stop people from avoidably dying, then by all means, get the man a suit and let him start work. Ego tripping at the expense of human lives won't achieve anything. Well, except a depopulation, which the over 100 million abjectly poor Nigerians will briskly correct by procreating out of idleness, power failure and frustration.

I feel for the doctors though. I just completed a 28-day course of antiretroviral drugs this morning as prophylaxis for a needle stick injury I sustained during a Cesarean section on an HIV positive woman last month. It was interesting because aside the paltry N10,000 I got monthly as hazard allowance, the only other things I got were 'Eeya, sorry o'. Ah, yes, my Head of Department was gracious enough to give me a day and half off work to 'recuperate'. The risks are real. Pilots, armed robbers and kidnappers ply high-risk trades also but at least they get commensurate pay. Doctors are bitter they earn so little after the many years of study and grueling training and now, the only small thing they have going for them in the form of self-aggrandizement, JOHESU is coming after. Haba! 

It is also worthy of note that the strike has not even caught the attention of the occupants of Aso Rock after eighteen days. He's busy welcoming Malala, chasing after naughty Governors and scheming how to raise Nigeria's debts by an extra $1billion to fund 2015 elections....oh sorry, to fight Boko Haram. NUPENG & PENGASSAN only need to issue notice of a warning strike and the government listens. But, it is well...

**********************************************************
Human beings are funny. We spend so much resources -currency and human blood- on executing wars

when peace is actually significantly cheaper. We are the only species that commits so much resources into wrecking havoc on ourselves and shedding blood. Sometime while we watched the World Cup in Rio, Isreal and Palestine stepped up their acrimony and what has ensued is wanton destruction of lives and property. Interestingly, I can't recall now when last there was peace in the world and I doubt very strongly there ever will be. Russia-Ukraine, South Sudan, Somalia, Egypt, Libya, Central African Republic and Syria. The list lengthens by the day. Today, there's news that 'pro-Russia' rebels in Ukraine shot down a Malaysia airlines commercial plane killing 295 people on-board. We seem bent on running the human race aground.  Remember the admonition about wars and rumors of war? We're right on course. All the best ya'll. Michael Jackson's U.S.A For Africa's 1985 'We are the world' hit just came up on my laptop ironically.

**********************************************************

Finally, I will quickly site a caveat. I'm going to hit the Nigerian 'born-again' nerve and personally, I don't care whose ox is gored. You can bow every morning to a deity shaped as your 'Papa or G.O' if you wish, so long you sleep better at night. So, this picture

popped up on my timeline on Facebook repeatedly last week. I didn't take a close look at it as I am now accustomed to the cow-dung that has now pervaded social media. Somehow, this picture just didn't go away and so I took a closer look and regretted the action immediately. The header on the picture was a prayer supposedly from a popular G.O in the spiritual circles. The prayer suggested a supernatural blessing by way of a brand new car that will have a key just like the ones in the picture. The prayer further instructed those that believed such a miracle would be their portion in the month of July to type a big 'Amen'. Unsurprisingly, there were probably half a million Nigerian Amens and it then occurred to me why the picture didn't leave my timeline. I choose to believe that someone over-zealously put up such a prayer on Papa's Facebook account. Having read such a prayer, did any of the people who hurriedly type 'Amen' ask by what means this tear rubber Mercedes and Lexus cars will come? Have you done anything in the last month that you expect will yield a car or is it just your faith as small as a mustard seed? Be reminded that faith without works is dead and you must sow to reap because for everything under heaven, there is a season. I am quite sure that if that prayer had read 'You will fly your own private jet this week', the Amens would have been just as much. Diaris God!

**********************************************************

I know I said finally before but something just occurred to me. In my current location, I pass by a veterinary clinic everyday on the way out. In front of the clinic a nice green vehicle with the words 'Animal Ambulance' is parked. I guffawed in Yoruba. They have a functional air-conditioned vehicle designated to convey ill or wounded pets like dogs, cats, rabbits and squirrels. They also have vaccination schedules and routine medical check-ups for the pets.

I then remembered that NMA was fighting JOHESU in my home country and the image of the ambulance that brought my beloved Aunty Folashade to LUTH that cold January night came to my mind. I quickly continued humming the 'Konko Below' by Lagbaja bellowing through my earphones. 

#KoKanAiye  

Yes! Albert Einstein Was Nigerian.

 Tonight, I'm going to challenge all you learnt in Elementary History class. They told you my sagacious name sake, Oluwole Akinwande Soyinka, was the first Nigerian to win the much coveted Nobel Prize, didn't they? They lied! 

Before you begin to cast and bind me in tongues, keep your hair on and let me explain.

First off, I'd like to quickly site a caveat at this juncture. That I will be airing my thoughts on recent happenings in Nigeria's political stratosphere does not by any means or measure mean I have reneged on my vow to my loving parents to steer clear of the political 'higgi hagga' beleaguering the nation. I simply found last weekend particularly amusing so I decided it was worth a few minutes of my time and reflection.

Last weekend, the good and voraciously learned people of Ekiti State, filed out in droves to exercise their electoral rights. It was supposedly a keenly contested battle between two or three men with varying arsenals. Ultimately, a winner emerged after all the machinations and shenanigans that usually pervade Nigerian elections. Personally, I couldn't really be bothered who won. I have no direct or remote ties to Ekiti so their direction for the next four years isn't really my business. I was more intrigued by the politicking and how each candidate went about his campaign, especially on the final day.

While the incumbent strutted around town speaking impeccable Queen's English, the eventual winner had his polo shirt collar turned up dancing to Saheed Osupa with the electorates. The picture on the left is quite self-explanatory. Prospective voters on a queue bearing small bags of rice clearly marked with an umbrella and 'Ayo'. In a country where civil servants earn less than 18,500naira monthly, this remains the most sensible way of winning a 'free and fair' election. 

Imagine walking down a newly tarred road with functional solar-powered street lights with 400naira in your pocket. You've not had breakfast, brunch or lunch and sincerely, you are not quite certain yet where supper will come from. Then, some fellow with a megaphone shouts like John The Baptist in the wilderness. 

'Come all ye that are hungry and own voter's cards 
Come all ye that are heavily laden with poverty and seek awoof rice'

Now, your pregnant wife is at home waiting for money for soup. Your kids in the local primary school are going to eat just as they will take some break-time money the next day. Your gastric acids are still and slowly eating away the linings of your stomach as there's no substrate to work on. You can tell by the worsening heartburns in your lower chest. All this and all you have in your pocket are four miserably weather-bitten 100naira notes. It is only the 21st of June and you are not likely to be 'transfused' until the beginning of July. Then, the incongruous sound bellows from the megaphone again and you stop in your tracks as you remember you had acquired a voter's card a few weeks before. The gods have smiled on you!

So, you scurry into the queue and you're handed a 15kg bag of rice with a promise of an extra 2000naira in cash if you 'put ya thumb on the umblella'[sic]. Explain to me how Ayo Fayose won't win.

What does all this have to do with the distinguished Albert Einstein you wonder? The man was a genius and even posthumously, he lends wise counsel to the PDP. He said and I quote: 'An empty  stomach is not a good political adviser'. Absolute genius!

Apt! If you've ever heard truer words or anything more 'Nigerian' than that, then please be kind enough to let me know. Politics in Nigeria is peculiar and must be handled deftly. You must solve the problems that are relevant to your people. What's the point of sending a village filled with bald men a truckload of combs? A true and worthy leader must connect with his primary constituency. How the incumbent missed such a salient point befuddles me. It is not enough to have lens-friendly gap-teeth or have the diction of Shakespeare. Have your people eaten today? How many of them now eat three times a day since you assumed office as Governor? Twitter and Facebook do not translate to ballot papers and votes. How many of these electorates are even using social media? No be who chop belleful go sabi tweet, follow or poke?

Any leader who fails to address 'bellenomics' of his people isn't worthy to lead. Ask Moses the utterances his beloved Isrealites directed at him when they ran out of food during their sojourn through the wilderness. Hunger breeds rebellion very quickly.

Hunger and hypoglycemia are not respecters of person, gender, colour, religion, age or command of English language.

So you see, the annals of History misguided you all. Albert 'Oladimeji' Einstein beat Wole Soyinka to the Nobel Prize.

The man was simply a visionary!