Nigeria: Ebola & Plagiarists.

There is a popular Yoruba adage that says 'when you beat a child with the right hand, you should draw that same child close with the left'. It's been a while since Nigeria was mentioned in positive light in local or foreign media. Even though the thoroughly absurd headlines we are renowned for remain unabated, we must at least ride the positive Halley's Comet news when they grace us with their presence. A few months ago, Nigeria was confronted by the deadly Ebola virus in Lagos and against all odds, Nigeria contained it. This containment was however not without human sacrifice and I personally believe we have continued to downplay the role the late Dr. Ameyo Stella Adedavoh played. I will not stop thinking so till I see national monuments and indeed medical schools named after her. That however, is an issue for another forum. Interestingly, the experimental drug we begged the United States of America for didn't play any role in the successful containment. It didn't because they refused to give us. We should thank them in retrospect for not giving us. If they had, we won't have painstakingly used our brains to think. We would have swallowed it like every other 'elixir' the West has handed us in the past. If they had, we would have attributed the successful containment to it and be inadvertently indebted to them once again.

Last week, the United States recorded its first case of Ebola in Dallas Texas. Before that time, Ebola was a 'West African' problem even as it had consumed more than three thousand lives. Many Nigerians could not contain their surprise when news broke that the almighty USA was sending its medical experts to understudy how Nigeria contained the virus. It was good to hear such news. Nigeria was not in the news for internet fraud, corruption, terrorism or any of the myriad vile headlines that have now inflicted us intractably. The same country that begged for Zmapp and did not get any. We should seize this opportunity to restore some of our pride. When those Americans arrive, they should be quarantined at our airports, after all, they are coming from an Ebola-infected country. We must take no prisoners and ensure they are brought down from their high horses. All these years, we have gone cap in hand begging them for all sorts of solutions and they have graciously humiliated our kin and labelled us. This is not revenge. They will get to understudy our Ebola containment methods but they won't waltz in like it's business as usual. Imagine if the tables were turned, they probably would have proposed an oil for medical research deal.

Nigeria should however not rest on her oars. The effective manner with which we tackled Ebola should spur us to greater feats. We can do it. We just need to set our minds to it. The West doesn't have all the answers we seek. We run to them shamelessly for aid forgetting that the Arabs like UAE never do. These countries have a fraction of the natural resources Nigeria owns, yet we refuse to look within. Nobody gave us a chance against Ebola. Countries had started banning Nigerian flights because they assumed we would handle the outbreak in our usual shoddy and shabby Nigerian way. Imagine if we decided to pay such meticulous attention to our education, judiciary and healthcare for starters. 

The European Union is antsy about the Spanish nurse with Ebola in Madrid. The Americans also have theirs to worry about. It was just a matter of time really. Maybe the whole world will sit up now and try to find a lasting solution to the problem. With the cosmopolitan nature of the world today, there's no such thing as an 'African' problem.




There has been a lot of noise on social media lately about Linda Ikeji's plagiarism. There have been cerebral arguments against her and inane defenses for her from young Nigerians all over the world. It's easy to see your level of insight and character based on which side of the fence you sit as far as this debacle goes. I'm sorry if I do not routinely visit her blog but many young Nigerians do and there must be a reason for that. Even if she copies and pastes, she must do it in a way that still appeals to our watery generation. Our Kim Kardashian generation. 

Many sound young authors like Elnathan John have been

shouting about this her unsavory habit for a while now on Twitter. Other authors rightly assert that Linda's reprobate demeanor is a reflection of Nigeria's state as a lawless cannibalistic and opportunistic society. Of course, those arguing for her believe the accusations of intellectual theft are only because she's doing well for her 'age and sex'. Like every other moral argument in Nigeria, you will be confronted by the most retarded views, most based on crackbrained sentiments and not on facts. Plagiarism is a serious crime in serious progressive climes. Make of that what you will. Our enslavement to material things remains a bane of our existence as a people. The reason why we pick Davido over Asa or Linda's gossip over Chimamanda's literature. This generation does not digest anything. We are an alimentary canal plagued by explosive diarrhea. 

Ordinarily, I would not have bothered myself about Linda's current travails. From the unfolding drama however, I made two interesting observations. First. Linda has obviously never schooled abroad. In Nigerian universities, you can copy and paste an entire project or thesis without referencing and get away with it. She would have known better if she had ever faced an academic malpractice panel for not properly referencing a coursework or essay. So, let's cut her some slack. Second and more interestingly. Linda, obviously does not attend COZA. If she did, she would know you don't actually give 'robust responses' when you have faltered. You just promise to in 'due time'. She would have learnt from Pastor B that you keep mute till the storm blows over. Nigerians suffer from a severe form of antegrade amnesia. They will huff and puff on Twitter and Facebook, then they will forget. Nigerians move on quickly as even the government has learnt. You do not fan the flame by making unfounded assertions like 'it is only happening to me because i'm the best'. You shut up and drive around Lekki quietly licking Coldstone ice-cream for a few weeks until another pastor divorces his wife or an illegal church building collapses. Thank me later.

For me however, the lesson is, when you buy a Range Rover, don't post it on Instagram. Register it quietly and behave like nothing happened. The sagacious Yoruba saying that 'when your yam cooks you should eat it quietly' has never sounded any truer.