Let's Play Ostriches Mr President!

Many years ago, I was taught by a charismatic and enigmatic Paediatrics Professor called Kanu Nkanginieme and he used to say 'History has shown that man fails to learn from history'. Looking back now, the man was a strongly-principled visionary who had assumed deity status in the mind and psyche of medical students. He was quite right. We never really learn from history so we allow it repeat itself. Over and over again.

I finally watched a very popular documentary about the history of Nigeria last week. The two part series (watch here) attempts to expound on Nigeria's journey since our independence till date, tossed from one regime to the other. I think it is critical for every Nigerian to watch it just to have an inkling of where we have come from to enable some clarity about happenings in today's Nigeria, some fifty years after. If Professor Nkanginieme is right, which I believe strongly he is, this knowledge of our very dark past will not deter us on our seemingly determined direction into an even darker future. 

For those who still confer President Jonathan with the attribute of being clueless, I truly have pity for you. You are the reason Agege bread loaves are getting smaller and DSTV subscription fees are getting higher. Hitherto, I used to think this misconception about the President's character was because things were not easily discernible and so the President succeeded in fooling people. From the rhetorics of shoeless childhoods to the promise of fresh air, albeit an already freely-given gift from God. But lately, things have become much clearer and you do not need to be a deep-thinker to decipher the machinations of Goodluck Jonathan.

If by now, you also still believe that this election, if it eventually holds (and this is a big IF), will be violence-free then again I have pity for you. We need to be pragmatic now and not bury our heads in sand like ostriches and pray and fast against an inferno when we are playing with matchsticks in petrol tank farms. It just can't add up. Yesterday, Lagos was shut down by a campaign activity in support of President Jonathan. In attendance were OPC members and a youth wing of the PDP and they tried to sell Mr President's reelection by sharing fliers while wielding axes, machetes and broken bottles. Motorists were held hostage as the campaigners who also demanded the sack of INEC's Professor Attahiru Jega went ahead to vandalize opposition campaign billboards.

Interestingly, these acts of lawlessness went on in the presence of Nigerian soldiers and policemen. A number of prominent Nollywood actors were also part of this show of shame. At some point yesterday a picture of Mr Reuben Abati, a supposed intellectual, standing behind Gani Adams, the leader of the OPC, at a press conference surfaced. The same Gani Adams, who led yesterday's campaign in the city of Lagos. A glorified tout who now commands police and military escort and leads campaigns with Nollywood actors behind him. Amazing, isn't it?

Many people will say I'm being hyperbolic and as usual being precocious in heaping the blame on the President. For me, it is a classic case of 'aje ke loru, omo ku laro...t'alo pa omoje' (a witch cries at midnight and the baby dies at dawn and we wonder who is responsible for the baby's death). It is not news that Mr Jonathan has been visiting Lagos often in the past few weeks lobbying and advertising his good works in government. He is in Lagos every other week, either kneeling for endorsements or prayers and you wonder who is then steering the vehicle called Nigeria if the driver is this distracted. I suspect very strongly that yesterday's show of shame and madness is one of the many fallouts of President Jonathan's visits to Lagos. In the coming days, I suspect we will see more of it.

President Jonathan cannot tell any right-thinking person he was not aware of what happened yesterday in Lagos! It is impossible. It defies logic! You mean there are military men just sitting around and looking for PDP campaigners to drive around with in the midst of a war with insurgents in the North-East? You mean policemen were just strolling around town and encountered a potentially dangerous gathering of young people with knives and bottles and just decided to drive along? If you believe all this happened without the knowledge of Goodluck Jonathan then you must be a landlord in fool's paradise. It is not enough to tell me that there are people acting without the President's knowledge so you can't blame him. That is imbecilic talk.

Some weeks ago, some television stations including the national one, the NTA, aired documentaries of calumny against the opposition candidate. It was sponsored by TAN, one of the many support organizations that have sprung up since Mr President declared his intention to run for a second term. Mr President exonerated himself by saying he didn't even know the people who paid for and produced these dirty jingles. But he heard and saw them! Did he ask the Director-Generals of BON and NTA to explain how such filth got on our airways? No! He just said the usual 'I don't know' and people bought it. A good leader ought to lead by example. Words are words. Words without action are empty.

Also, Asari Dokubo keeps saying there will be war if President Jonathan  loses the election in 2015. Again, Mr President does not lift a finger but says on a media chat on live national television when asked about the militant's threat that it's not just Asari that has been threatening violence. That both sides have been doing so. Incredible! And the man will come and reassure you that he will not sacrifice the blood of one Nigerian on the altar of ambition and you actually believe this man? Why? Because he comes to camp to fellowship every month or because he is a practicing Anglican? Mr Asari Dokubo, thanks to Nigeria, is now a billionaire and when you threaten to take his source of livelihood, he will bark. President Jonathan knows this obviously. Can he charge Mr Dokubo for threatening Nigeria's sovereignty or even freeze his ill-gotten assets? Of course he can. He is the PRESIDENT! But what you get is Mr Dokubo making cameo appearances at events hosted by the President and new 'pipeline-protection' contracts worth millions of dollars.

Last week, the President renewed the contracts of these militants and has now included Gani Adams and Fred Fasheun in the new payroll. You can now understand why Gani Adams jumped out yesterday to, in my opinion, celebrate his arrival on the scene of the national cake. For a scientific person, President Jonathan's actions defy logic and this is the more reason I pity those who think he is clueless and doesn't know what he's doing.Surely, no man born of a woman is that stupid! Now, we have enriched touts and bandits with national contracts and we've empowered them to recruit more from an infinite pool of unemployed young people. The disbursement of mobilization fees at a time so close to the elections is timely as they will be able to procure choice arms and ammunition. On the other hand, we have politicized our military and starved them of funds for training and equipment. We have a Navy but we give militants our waterways and pipelines to man, YET, crude oil theft has not abated. 

If you are a clear-thinking person, then by now, you should have the big picture in your mind's eye. President Jonathan is preparing the ground for chaos and anarchy and I do not see anywhere else to place the blame. He is surreptitiously assembling an army of mercenaries to prosecute this plot and the signs are quite clear for all to see. Someone rightly pointed out a few years ago that with the amounts of money missing from Nigeria's coffers, he was worried about what exactly the Presidency was preparing for in 2015. We still have not accounted for those figures under this President. 

I once watched a movie starring Edward Norton and Robert De Niro. The former played the role of a professional con artist who showed up at work everyday, perfectly pretending to be a mentally challenged janitor while plotting heists. This is who President Jonathan reminds me of. Someone who is fully aware of what he is doing and pitches his 'softness' and seemingly calm mien to deceive people into actually believing he is entirely innocuous and isn't capable of wrong-doing. It is a well-thought and calculated ruse which unfortunately sits easily with Nigerians, being a shallow and easily-distracted bunch. 

Alas, Robert Nesta 'Bob' Marley said many years ago. 'You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool ALL the people ALL the time'. Some like Feyi Fawenhimi, Don Jazzy and a handful of other people I know have now realized they were conned in 2011 by assuming 'he wasn't one of them'. You can't blame them, everybody loves a fairytale. 

The 'I don't know' line from Mr Jonathan shouldn't hold water any longer. If unexplained sums of money hit my bank account every other day, my explanation cannot be 'I don't know'. It becomes my duty to go out of my way to know and have a tenable excuse. I find the President's habit of playing ostrich when things happen for his benefit rather insulting and despicable. And a tad cowardly also.

Those of you who defend idiocy in the name of ethinic and religious jingoism, I hope you have valid travel documents and travel plans. The man, and his friends who have enslaved you, have fueled aircraft and accommodation outside the country. Their offspring are camped in choice apartments abroad furnished tastefully with your taxes and commonwealth. At the drop of a hat, they'll disappear. When shit hits the fan, maybe not all of us will be splattered after all. Stay here and be pointing out ghost trains as dividends of democracy when serious countries are plotting how to travel from New York to London in one hour at speeds five times the sound barrier. They are plotting how to print 3D images of the heart to be used in transplants and you are here glorifying idiocy. Nobody ever wins a war. Ask Sierra Leone, Syria, Sudan, Somalia and Liberia. Read up the 1967 Civil War here in Nigeria. Long after the bullets stop, the agony remains palpable!

Befittingly, I will use Kanu Nkanginieme's words to close with a word of advice to the President. Laurent Gbagbo. Charles Taylor. Uhuru Kenyatta. Man never learns from history and history NEVER forgets. You can be President for three decades but one day....

One day!