Not even that prepared me for the shock I got when this morning news filtered in that my dear Dame Patience had just been appointed as a Permanent Secretary by the Bayelsa State Government. I laughed so hard, I almost ruptured my diaphragm.
All I could ask was 'How did we get here?'
I am not a career civil servant and apparently I don't know enough of civil service rules and regulations as I always believed the post of Permanent Secretary was one earned by many years of meritorious civil service. I erroneously believed career civil servants who had risen through the ranks and served diligently and religiously were eventually made to write a qualification examination to assume the revered post of a Permanent Secretary.
Evidently I was thoroughly mistaken.
I'll not attempt to get into Governor Seriake Dickson's head to try to decipher what may have transpired to earn Mrs Jonathan the post. To a lot of us, it is no longer news that Dame is more powerful than Bayelsa's 24 first class traditional rulers and in fact, maybe the most powerful 'Bayelsan' alive today. Such is the ferocity and magnitude of this power she wields that Chief Timipre Sylva today faces potential jail time if the courts determine he is indeed culpable for all the fraudulent allegations leveled against him. His woes today are not unconnected to his abrasion with Dame Patience. I also assume Governor Dickson has sworn allegiance to this Rivers State-born Bayelsan Queen Ant. Surely, that must be a basic prerequisite for any mortal who attempts to occupy the government house in Yenogoa.
I can understand Dame's meandering across the globe to spend this oyel money. I can even understand her blatant disregard for the rule of law as her dear hubby has brazenly told off Nigerians with his 'I don't give a damn'. What befuddles me is the slight with which the BYSG treated its civil servants. There are Directors and Deputy Directors across all the ministries in Bayelsa. Surely, one of such must have been denied this promotion by Dame's appointment. Except there was a qualification examination and an interview, advertised in the national dailies, from which Dame emerged as the best candidate, which I strongly doubt (pun intended), then certainly there has been an injustice.
Besides her glaring non-qualification on the basis of the span of her civil service career, Dame also does not possess the educational qualification for this post. I will honestly like to sight her O-level WAEC result. If Dame truly sat for the same SSCE I wrote and successfully made 5 credits plus ENGLISH and Maths then we have no right to question JAMB for reducing cut-off marks to 180 in 2012. I will pretend she doesn't claim she earned a BSc. from my alma mater as I am now excruciatingly ashamed of that institution. Another salient question we must ask is what managerial and administrative experience Dame possesses that qualifies her for this post.
I however do not blame the learned legal practitioner in the person of Seriake Dickson who deemed Dame eligible for this post. When there's no law, there is no sin. The barefaced lawlessness in the land couldn't have slipped past Bayelsa. Kudos to him. Another sound decision from a Nigerian lawyer.
Dame's ascension to power in Bayelsa reminds me vividly of my childhood. Then, my father was still a serving Military officer and my mother was very quick to inform any uniformed personnel that accosted her for anything that she was a rank higher than my father, even though she was a civilian. Her point was that, she was probably the only civilian who could give direct orders to my father and was self-assured of that fact. Same is the rise of Dame Patience, shes's the First Lady, she has Ebele's ears and heart in her palms.
It is pretty obvious now that the First family really could not be bothered what our perspective on these issues are. As far as they are concerned, we can whine all we want and grumble as loud as we like. They are here to stay and the earlier we got used to them, the better for all of us. Common sense will not prevail in this dispensation, it will be business as usual and who knows Dame might tomorrow be the Minister of Finance if she performs well at her new position.
Today, it is Dame Jonathan's appointment by a 'clinically sane' government as Permanent Secretary that is amazing us. Tomorrow, only God knows what this government will throw at the Nigerian people. We take each day as it comes. As usual, we'll say 'It is well' and move on.
Meanwhile, I am itching to read Reuben Abati's two-cents on this astounding appointment.
Congratulations Dame! Long Live Bayelsa State. Long Live Nigeria.
P.S; My candid advice to the civil servants in Dame's ministry, kindly procure crash helmets. You'll need them during the weekly management meetings. Goodluck! (Oops, not that one o, the original Goodluck Goodluck!)
Follow 'Wole on Twitter @drwalls28
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