Who Wrote 1st Corinthians 13?

You haven't loved till you have loved the '1st Corinthians 13' way they say. The Bible scholars know this part of the Good Book. The part that subtly describes our Lord Jesus Christ. There are many things that have continued to confound me about life and one of such is this part of the Bible. The very intensity and depth of those words that define love make me shudder anytime I read them.

Let's remind ourselves....
 
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Doesn't this definition remind you of Jesus?

Don't even attempt to think of marriage if you have not ruminated on the above. Not just giving it deep thought but also understanding the depth of the message it attempts to pass across. Patience, kindness, humility, respect, tolerance, selflessness, forgiveness (forgetting included), gentility, honesty, truthfulness, trust, hope, reliability and steadfastness. Notice the word 'always' is a recurring decimal before the characteristics of love? Love is consistent.

Yesterday, I saw 'Rumor Has It' starring Jennifer Aniston & Kevin Costner. It came highly recommended and I was not disappointed when they began reeling the credits. For the benefit of those who have not seen the flick, it's a story of a young beautiful and engaged-to-be-married lady who in a bid to exorcise her demons sought out and slept with a man who had bedded her mother and her grandmother. It wasn't even the trans-generational copulation that intrigued me. Her fiance eventually found out about the illicit affair and he was distraught. When she had realised her folly, she sought forgiveness and her words struck me. She said 'I haven't come to tell you I can't live without you...I can. I'm saying that I just don't want to'. I found that intense! How do you react to a fiancee who out of adventure just slept with a total stranger? He forgave her.

Yes, I know many of you will say it's just a movie. I agree. But the Bible isn't a movie script. The young man in the movie acted out the passage above. There are two people here. She dishonoured him and was self-seeking, she failed him but he didn't pay her back in kind. Instead, he kept no record of her wrong. He was hopeful, he persevered and he didn't fail. If this doesn't scare you, then you are a bigger man than I am!

You see, as I've grown in life, I've picked lessons along the way. One of such is that the heart will love whom it chooses. You can't force it to love or otherwise. I recall how I used to wonder how some women managed to hang around with seemingly reprobate men. I often wondered if they were under a spell of some sort. Why don't you just walk away from the nitwit? The whole world knows she remains at her own detriment and it's a thoroughly hopeless situation. You never know till you are in the shoes. Let her be.

Love is a very scary thing. No! Love is the scariest thing ever. Love is a risk. Deciding to take the risk is totally up to you. Love is standing at the edge of a cliff, staring into an abyss of incomprehensible darkness and deciding to jump hoping you'll be caught by the other person. Love is breaking down your fortress and making a total stranger the sole custodian of your entirety. Love is finding sufficiency in the person you are with. You can be in a room surrounded by nubile brunettes and it's only one face you see in your mind. You know you'll get burnt but then you think what if I don't? Love is putting all your eggs in one basket and testing the depths of rivers with both feet. It will never really make sense so don't bother trying to comprehend it. You just do it and hope. Because that's what love does according to the Bible. Love always hopes!

She knows I hate waiting. I'd rather be shot than sit in the car waiting for anyone. But guess what, she keep you waiting for the most frivolous thing. So, I've learnt to call and 'lie' that I'm downstairs already when in actual fact, I'm five blocks away so she'd hurry with her make-up and her gown. And even that doesn't preclude the waiting in the car for her! But that's her. Remember verse 4! Patience!

She's not been on her best behaviour. She has annoyed you like crazy the past few weeks. She technically 'broke up' with you over the phone the night before but the next morning, she calls in distress and you leave what you are doing and dash down to be sure she's fine. Verse 4 again! Kindness!

You've been out of work for some time. She on the other hand is 'balling'. She runs a successful business and is obviously healthier than you financially. She gives Richard Quest a run for his money in terms of globe-trotting. Naturally, you feel intimidated but you ensure it serves as a drive to spur you to greater things. You are genuinely happy for her while you wait for your own break. You pray for her still. That, one day she will lend to nations because you understand that two have become one and she is you as you are her! Again, verse 4. Avoid envy.

There's been a misunderstanding and things have been said. Hurtful stuff. You blew a fuse and told her off. To go to hell actually. And all through the next week, you 'blank' each other. You're livid with yourself but you can't be the one to always apologise now! She needs to learn her lesson and not take you for granted. Yes we agree! But you are thinking about her so much that you think you are losing your mind. So, you damn your ego and call to say 'Sorry' even when you really didn't do anything wrong. Pride goes before a fall. Again, verse 4. Don't be proud.

You've been at work all day. You're tired and the only song humming in your head is 'Na sleep sure pass'. But she needs to get home after work and it's raining. Conditions are harsh and she's stranded. You don't joke with your rest and even your parents dare not get into your space. But, you are not dating your parents, are you? In spite of whatever policies and principles you have concerning nap time, you get up and trudge along to get her. Where a man's treasure is, there is his heart. You want to leave your heart in the rain? Certainly not! Refer verse 5. Love is not self-seeking. Love is selfless!

Can you have issues and let sleeping dogs lie? The issues of last year have gone with last year. If you didn't walk away at the time on your own volition then leave the past in the past. It's hard but the wound will never heal if you keep excavating the scar! And remember also verse 5 says 'love keeps no record of wrongs'. So, it's biblical to leave buried issues buried!

No human being was created as a perfect entity. Flaws present at birth are honed further by our experiences as we journey through life. Understanding this basic fact enables you to be able to appreciate the little glitches in human reasoning and character. They say the truth is bitter but that it will set you free. Are you receptive to the truth? Trusting someone emotionally to always have your back ensures you understand that sometimes you need to hear the truth from them about some flaws you have. They haven't told you to put you down. They have told you the cold truth because they know you can be better. They see you are a work in progress and you'd need to be beaten into shape at different times. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. Verse 6?

Everybody that knows the two of you has told you it's going nowhere. They've asked you to 'free' her because time is not on your side. The earlier you came to terms with that, the better and safer for you. She'll need to find herself and that may take a few years which you didn't have. But, in all that and more, you are hopeful. You know it doesn't make any sense to wait for someone who may never turn up but you still do. You don't give up! You see hope in the most hopeless place. You persevere! That would be verse 7!

This would be a good point to site a 'caveat emptor'. You can do all this and still get burnt. Crazy isn't it? There are no assurances. You just do your best and love wholly and totally and wait. There will be sunny days. Ensure you roll in the grass on such days. There will be gloomy seasons also. Don't run for cover. Hold an umbrella over her head even if you'll get drenched and catch a flu.(sic)

The point is, love is an experience that we can only learn from Jesus. Can you pray for the one who has driven a nail through your palms without local anaesthesia? Can you pray for the one who has sold you out for a few gold coins? Can you heal the one who has lost an ear while trying to attack you? Can you love others like yourself. Can you lose yourself for the other person?

Saw a quote yesterday and it got me thinking. The author is anonymous but my admiration for the person isn't lessened by the anonymity.

"Love is not about holding hands while understanding each other, it's about having many misunderstandings and not leaving each others hands'

May you find the one that will love you back just the same....