I was at a stand-up comedy event over the weekend and while we waited for the show to begin the organisers decided to entertain us with candid videos of some our favourite Nigerian celebrities. They were given a 'word of the day' and were asked for the meaning of these words. Initially, I found the stuttering quite amusing but this was short-lived. It soon turned into a horror flick as the videos reeled on the screen.
I believe it is only fair we all watch these videos before reading further just so this satire makes any sense. Below are some of the links. If however, you have any difficulty with opening these links directly from my page, I suggest you google 'flytime TV word of the day'. There are about 6 or 7 of such videos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6o8QQUITBg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97yRm8I_tPg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JtcoWFeY_V4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCP8piTuOGE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qlJglcvXJo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hubPPqwVyd4
I decided at some point to believe some of the people interviewed were simply joking around. But then again, what if they weren't?
Timaya had never heard of the word 'Incumbent'. Ice Prince believed 'incumbent' meant something that was about happen. Sexy Steel and Tiwa Savage practically just gave up in frankness. They accepted they didn't know the meaning of the words. The same thing played out for words like haphazard, conspicuous, penultimate and traumatize.
To buttress what I always knew about our eroded value system, one of the artistes actually pleaded with the interviewer to ask him what a brand of champagne was instead of the definition of an English word. Another one said 'No be English I take blow o!'. He really did speak the truth. He didn't blow with English. He did with senseless lyrics. Why teach the viewers how to spell when you could tell them of the finest cognac and flashy cars.
Another striking feature in these horror shows was the foreign accent with which the faltering artistes spoke. Nigerians are wonderful people you know! Even the ones who claimed they lived abroad before moving down here and the ones who are television presenters didn't fare any better. While the video played, I looked around and everyone was laughing really hard! The audience obviously thought watching their superstars bungle English words and their meanings was intensely hilarious. For me,there was absolutely nothing funny about it. Rather, we need to take a minute and ask ourselves some very serious questions.
Who are the role models our young people have? Are they not these same artistes they watch on Soundcity every afternoon after school. All our young people want to dress and talk like our superstar artistes. They want to copy the 'swag' and adopt the neologism from their 'heroes' on television. In 2009, only 26% of the students that sat for the SSCE had at least a credit in five subjects including Mathematics and English Language. In 2010, it dropped to 24.7% and then 31% in 2011. Last year, we experienced a 'staggering' rise in our pass rate to 38.8%. In four years, we have never passed 40% pass rate in WAEC. This includes the candidates that sat for their exams in 'Special centres' and those who passed the exams with the aid of 'bullets' and the popular 'Keypoints'. Even with all our machinery, machination and mercenary, 4-out-of-10 remains a tall order for us?
According to the 2011 UN Human Development report, over two-thirds of the world's 793 million illiterate adults are found in only eight countries (Bangladesh, China, Egypt, Ethiopia, India, Indonesia, NIGERIA, and Pakistan). Not bad company if you ask me. China is a world super-power and Bangladesh makes the coolest tee-shirts! Again, I am worried that this 61.3% literacy rate includes people like Kenny St.Brown, who claims she is a graduate of English (as stated in one of the videos) and who believes the word 'haphazard' means 'stopping in the middle or half-way'. Amazing!
I once read a quote from someone I can't quite remember now. He said 'education used to mean a lot to me until graduates began working for illiterates'. He could not have said it better.
The richest young people in Nigeria today are not school-smart. They can't define simple English words. They wear Brazilian hair and are 'swagged' like there's no tomorrow. They are fashion icons and drive the classiest Aston Martins and Range Rovers. They 'pop' champagne every other night and travel to the most glamorous countries. I assume the footballers would not have fared any better either. Today, wealth in my country isn't encrypted in degrees or good diction. The question is, what is our definition of wealth?
There's a reason our WAEC pass rates are stunted. Who cares if Iyanya can spell so long he can wind his waist to Kukere and tell women 'all I want is your waist'. Who cares if Dammy Krane's IQ makes a toad look like a genius so long he can assure us 'ko le re body'? Who cares if Timaya is smart so long he can ask us to 'shake our bum-bum'. Education used to be the key to the future. The money is no longer in the classrooms. It simply isn't.
Let's just keep dancing. The future of Nigeria is so bright we would need sunglasses to look at it else we get blinded by the light. Yes, it is that bright...
Mr Tai Solarin always said 'Knowledge is light'. He caned it into his pupils in Ikenne. If only he knew how times have now changed.
As true as this article seems to me, i still think you're a little too critical of nigerians. The ability/disability to speak good english doesn't measure one's intelligence. Having said that, you did a good job and your point was made clear. well done
ReplyDelete>Your point is clear but the problem is that we have few elites in education to even look up to ; Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe and thats all.
ReplyDelete>All our young people see everyday is Timaya,Nyaya, Dbanj etc.Thats why one of us invited Kim Kardashian of all people to show-case to us for a whooping sum.
>Shame.