You Look...You Sin!

'And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out'-Mark 9 v47.

A few days ago, I stopped for ice cream somewhere around my house with my girlfriend. We had walked in and placed our orders when three young females came into the creamery. One of the three wore probably the shortest and tightest 'bum-shorts' I ever saw. So scandalous were these shorts that even her friends tried belatedly to rectify her lewdness by helping her pull them down. All I could mutter was an exasperated 'Na Wah O'.

'Who do we blame for this obscenity and the natural leering that followed it?' I asked my girlfriend.

Lagos is a hard place to live in. Lagos is one of those places where everyday, a man is faced with daunting challenges that continue to buttress the Yoruba adage that translates as 'It is in a hard or difficult spot that we find(or know) a real man'. Lagos will test your resolve. Lagos can make or break your home.

The outing on that fateful night got me thinking deeply about the constant visual assault young men, single and married, have to contend with on a daily basis in a cosmopolitan city like Lagos. Everyday, on the streets, men are pushed to their breaking limits by sparsely clothed, often voluptuous women and the ultimate goal is to pass these unending tests of self-control.

Let us examine the scene at the creamery again. I totally was not prepared for what I saw that night. It would have been understandable if I had been inside a strip-club in Ikeja and saw the practically nude girls. Totally different. Then, I would have conditioned my mind that I was in the mood to see appendages and flesh. I may have even paid to go and see such. But no,this was a creamery where ice cream was sold. I entered the place with totally pious thoughts only to be confronted with the most bawdy expression of the female anatomy. I know I will be judged to be responsible for what I saw that night and I will take the blame for looking instead of simply yelling 'Get thee behind me!'. But really, is it fair to blame an innocent young virile man for the indiscretion of a silly young girl?

When I asked who was to be held responsible, I knew I was asking a rhetorical question. The blame was mine. Solely. That's what society says. I should know the difference between looking and seeing!

I cut my trips to the big malls around Lekki lately. I tried not to go near such places except it was excruciatingly necessary. I noticed the girls have become bolder and more brazen in exposing flesh and since I cherish my two eyes, I chose the option of fleeing. Many self-righteous people will say it is because I am not 'spirit-filled'. That's their opinion. I am only being objective and practical. A man who has eyes has eyes! Simple. I understand and appreciate that different men will react differently to such obscenities. Some will see and look away quickly and remind themselves of the Bible passages that say the devil has come to kill, steal and destroy. Some others will see and quickly remind themselves of something they need to sort out to distract their minds from the temptation. Some will see the tight clothing and look lustfully for a split second and allow their minds wander to something else. Others on the other hand will look and yell 'Ojigbigbijigbi' like Pa Ajasco and not allow the gluteal muscles leave their visual fields till they hit a corner. One thing is common to all of them, they all saw!

I used to derive a lot of pleasure from going to these public places where half-naked females flooded. I enjoyed watching the reaction of men who were accompanied by their spouses or girlfriends to these 'daughters of Jezebel'. You could see the pain in the eyes of some of these men. They really wished they could turn round and leer. For some, they shamefully lost the battle of self-control right there in the presence of their partners. The brain says one thing while the cervical muscles develop autonomy and turn briskly to direct their gaze at the lumps on the assailant. For some others, they can't even be bothered if their wives noticed. They just turn around and feed their eyes, after all, you only live once. Men are visual beings. I'm not asking you if you speak in tongues or cast and bind demons, stop pretending! I'm asking if there's testosterone in your blood.

One of my favourite movies of last year was Hall Pass starring Owen Wilson. Here, the Directors revealed a secret of the 21st century man. Its that concept of quickly spotting a potential hot lady,mapping the direction she's walking to and promptly turning your gaze to that direction so that she innocently 'walks into your line of vision'. The enactment in the movie was utterly hilarious. If you haven't seen that movie, I recommend it for a very hearty laugh.

How does a man 'pretend' he didn't see what just passed by him? How does he feign blindness on a shiny afternoon or in a well-lit corridor in a bid to forestall a break down of law and order with his accompanying spouse? How does he train his neck muscles so the eyes can move even with the still neck so he can feed his hungry eyes? How does a virile young man 'look' without 'seeing'?

One of my married friends says he wears sunglasses all day long. This way, his eyes can move unfettered behind the lenses without any breach of peace. He goes on to say he wears them even when he sleeps just in case he has daydreams. He wants to be entirely sure his eyes are in check.

Cobhams Asuquo is a talented young man who has shown the world that a handicap is not the same thing as a disability. His ability transcends visual acuity and his works are there as concrete proof. He married a delectable young lady last year. I am occasionally tempted to envy Mr Asuquo. A huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He can't see so he can waltz through The Palms and he won't be bothered there are half-naked girls running all over the place. His wife can sleep at night, every night, knowing where her husband's eyes have been!

There's a part of Islam I have come to appreciate as I have grown. Please note that I am not in anyway asking that we all follow suit but just raising a point about decency. The creed encourages females to wear 'hijabs' and ankle length gowns. Some say this 'shackling and depressive' mode of dressing isn't a guarantee of chastity and virtue. They say some of the women are just as promiscuous once they take off these apparel. This is a very good point. However, we cannot deny the fact that they are not perceived as threats to any man's eyes in public. Do you see a lady in hijab and lick your lips? If you do, you have a new form of sexual deviation. The point is, I really don't care what they did in their private lives, in public, they are 'decent'.

I'll get a lot of stick for this satire. I know that. I also know I have spoken the minds of many young men who have been groaning under the pressure of visual assaults everyday. Don't feel bad. It is a temptation. You'll not be human if you didn't have them. My advice is don't settle your gaze on them when they come out in their worst forms. Just a glance and focus on something else. Try very hard, even though it maybe extremely difficult, not to look a second time. It is that second look that usually gets us in trouble. Remember, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities in high places. This battle is one that will continue long into the years. Until senile glaucoma and cataracts destroy our acuity. Gird your loins!

Young man...look, but please, by all means, don't (never ever) see!